It's not always blissful

Pictures can often be misleading.  It's only natural to post the cute, happy pictures of your children.  The pictures of memories you want to keep.  Pictures that bring out the best in you and offer a simple reminder of how great your children can be....even if it's just for a moment. 

But, I am here to acknowledge the fact that this is, without a doubt, the hardest job I have ever had.  I had no idea that motherhood could be this time-consuming.  24 hours a day.  Literally.  You never get a chance to "clock out."  Whether its comforting your daughter at 3 am over a nightmare, to nursing your newborn at 4:30 am with one eye open, to trying to teach your two year old patience, finding time to keep up with the over flowing laundry, trying to squeeze in a shower, attempt to keep the house relatively clean, making time to be a friend to your husband and not just a "co-parent", to just trying to pick up milk.  It is so overwhelming when that means you have to load up three kids in the car only to argue with them at Target for not respecting many of my rules.  This is one tough job.  I can't even sugar coat it at times.

Being a mother to three kids so close in age is something we chose to do, so I can't point the blame at anyone.  It's a life we wanted for ourselves.  But, I just had no clue that it would be this challenging.  I often have to remind myself how wonderful it feels to be so needed.  But, it's also tiresome.  I often remind myself that I will miss all the chaos once it's gone.  But, I also look forward to the quiet time.  Does that make me a bad mom?  I have to lay off the mommy guilt.  I am not wishing this time away with my kids.  I know they are only this young for such a short time.  But sometimes days feel like weeks.  And weeks feel like years.  When you have very very little time for yourself it feels like you are just on overdrive.  Not to mention tackling each day on, at best, 4 hours of sleep.  All three kids needed me last night between the hours of midnight to 6am - something that has become very common over here.  If I wasn't rocking someone, then I was nursing or scratching someones back.  This job is not for the faint of heart.  Sometimes I think it would be easier for me to go back to work.  But then I remind myself how fortunate I am that I am able to financially stay home with my children.  I am sure there are some mothers out there that would long for this opportunity.  I am grateful for my children, they truly are a Blessing.  They define me.  They bring out the best in me - but at times the worst is also brought out.  I am working on that.  Who knew patience was worn so thin when you are running on fumes.  I trying a gratitude journal at night so I can write down what I am thankful for each day.  It truly puts things into perspective.  Life is good.  And as they always say, anything worth living for takes a lot of work and dedication.  I have dedicated my life to my children and to my family.  But I am not going to deny that this is a very demanding and challenging job.  It's not always as glamorous as pictures may often lead.  I'm just trying to embrace it one day at a time....

But for now, I am thankful that all three kids are napping.  Little things, right?