A letter to my three year old daughter

Dear Olivia,

Where to begin.  Let me start by trying to put into words just how much I love you.  This feeling I have inside for you cannot be articulated into words.  You, my first born, are my world.  My everything.  My future.  My past.  My every day.

You are challenging, my dear.  Oh so very challenging.  It's a good thing I love you as much as I do because you can bring me to tears with your strong will and strong temper.  Literally, bring me to tears.  Sometimes, I wonder what am I doing wrong as your mother?  You can be that challenging.  But, I know your strong will is hard-wired in you.  I know this, because you inherited it from me.  I know you will channel that into something positive one day.  You are a leader.  People look up to you.  Especially your little brother, Jack.  He adores you.  You know it.  You love it.  At 3 and 2 years old - you two are best friends.  I pray that you two will always be this close & have each other's back in life.  You are a mother hen.  You mother both of your brothers.  You are able to offer such a warmth to them.  I pray that you will always carry that nurturing quality about you.  It's endearing.  It's a gift.

I pray that your self-esteem and your innocence are preserved as long as possible.  At three years old, you have so much self-confidence.  I don't ever want that to be tampered with.  I want to protect that.  That is my number one wish and prayer for you, my daughter, is to hold on to your self-esteem forever.  Don't let anyone's words, or actions break that.  I know it will happen some day.  I know this, because I experienced this.  I worried about what other people thought too much.  I let them dictate my self-worth.  Please don't do that.  You are so valuable.  Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.  You are special.  Please remember that.  Always.

You are so interested in Princesses as this young age.  I think it's great to have them as role-models.  The Disney Princesses we read about, every night before you go to bed, are beautiful on the inside and the outside.  They are loyal to their loved ones, and kind to everyone.  It's a message we could all learn from.  No matter how old we are.  I pray you continue to be kind to everyone and don't let other people's differences influence your decision to be nice. 

I absolutely love your excitement and enthusiasm for life.  You are tickled pink, naturally.  Your excitement is contagious.  You greet everyone you see as if it might be your last time seeing them.  Everyone receives acknowledgment from you when they walk in a room.  You make other's feel special.  That is also a gift.  I pray, you always keep that charm about you.  It might be your best quality.  How you make others feel so special just by walking into your presence.  Everyone receives the "Olivia greeting."  It's your thing, girl.

You are having extreme trouble sleeping at night.  It breaks my heart.  It breaks my patience.  You have become so petrified of the dark that you are not sleeping through the night.  Bedtime is a battle.  A nightly struggle that dad and I dread.  It takes almost 90 minutes to get you asleep.  We read stories, we sing songs, we pray, we leave the lamp on, we let the dog in to help comfort you.  It is exhausting.  You are up most of the night calling for dad and I.  We have tried everything.  I am afraid you are going to end up in our bed at night as we surrender to the battle.  As much as we get frustrated and as exhausted as we are because of everyone's lack of sleep - I have to remind myself that you are scared.  It's not your fault.  You can't help how you feel at night.  You are only three.  It's not fair for us to let you scream it out, when you yearn for your parents so badly.  We are tired.  I pray, we can overcome this soon. 

As I lay in bed with you, again, I wait for you to fall asleep before I can tip toe out.  But, today, I found an eyelash on your check as I was stroking your hair.  ( if you look closely enough you can see it under your eye in this pic)  Instead of blowing it off, I laid next to you and thought of all the wishes I have for you, my three year old daughter.  That is what inspired this letter to you.  My wish, Olivia, is for you to always be you.  True to yourself.  True to your values.  And always, always remember that you, my dear, are loved. 

You are very loved.   

I pray you will always remain my best friend.  I want us to be this close forever.  I want you to always be able to share your fears with me.  Whether its your fear of sleeping in the dark, to your fear of anything in life.  I am here for you.  Always.

XOXO,
Mom